CuriousGeorge (age7) came downstairs wide-eyed this morning:
"MOM! Do you know what Phoebe told me?! She said if you wear green today,
you get a kiss (with the girls-have-cooties face);
and if you don't, you get a pinch."
I giggled as I shielded my eyes from the blazing orange outfit he was wearing.
After explaining the higher probability of getting pinched by all the boys in his class,
he came out of his closet in head-to-toe camo.
MonkeyButt (age 9) was then reminded and was on the hunt for some green.
It was close to bus time so I entered his closet, threw him a pair of jeans,
some (coincidently) green underwear, and a blue shirt with green letters on it.
"That's not green!"
"Bud, you don't have to have a green shirt, just something with green on it."
"But what if one of the guys comes up behind me and pinches me cuz I have a blue shirt on."
"Well, (not my proudest parenting moment) pinch 'em back! And if they don't think it's enough green, you could always pull your pants down."
Picturing that phone call from the principal, I added the fine print: "That was not me giving you permission to pull your pants down, by the way!"
Mom: "Happy St. Patrick's Day, SpiderMonkey!"
SpiderMonkey (age 3): "It's Patrick's Day?!! Is he gonna be at my school?!"